I really didn’t want to have to make this post, but it’s gotten too silly now. My last post was over a month ago and I’ve all but disappeared since. This post is just a quick one to let you know what’s happening and to reassure you that A Morbid Tourist isn’t dead, just sleeping. Like Cthulhu.

In early July, I was having an M.E. flare-up. I haven’t really mentioned my chronic illness in previous blog posts, but I do plan to speak about it more going forward. Meanwhile, here’s a lovely fact sheet from the M.E. Association for you to read if you’re not familiar with this condition. This flare-up was the worst I had had for years, and completely kicked my ass. I believe it was brought on by stress, but you can never be sure what exactly did it.

I was only just out of bed for more than half an hour at a time when I attended my stepbrother’s wedding. Scrubbing up nicely took a lot of energy I didn’t have, but I did scrub up nicely:

Immediately after that, I came down with some opportunistic virus that I’ve only just gotten over. It was this maddening, itchy cough that had me hacking away until I was literally wheezing. It kept me up at night, my whole body hurt, and I was constantly light-headed and out of it. Amazingly, it wasn’t Covid. While I was sick with the worst of that virus, a stomach bug decided to piggyback on and join in the fun.

So, I was physically ill as well as post-flare for ages. It was hideous.

Meanwhile, my mental health had been spiralling since May and decided it was high time I paid it some more attention. Long story short, I was in crisis and suicidal. I spent 10 days at a respite house to keep me safe and give me space to think properly. It also helped to give my family and friends a break and the reassurance that I was in a safe place.

As I write this, I’ve left the respite house but I’m not out of the woods yet. Not by far. My treatment at the hands of the mental health services in my area has been appalling and I’m in the process of making a formal complaint. I feel worse since engaging with them.

This is essentially the TL;DR version of everything that’s happened, but I hope it gives you a picture of why I’ve not had the energy or capacity to work on the blog, and why I’ve decided to make the hiatus official. Every day, I’ve been awash with guilt and panic about not ~being consistent~ with posting and keeping up with social media. Which I know is a bit silly and unfair on myself, considering the circumstances.

So, the crux of it is: AMT is still alive, but just has to be on the backburner for now while I get my shit together. To the people who have been checking in, I see you all, and I really appreciate you caring about my little blog. For now, I might be popping up on my Instagram a bit more, as-and-when I can manage it. However, it’s all technically on hiatus so I can’t promise any consistency.

I would also love to give you all an ETA for the end of this hiatus, but that’s not doable with how things are right now. Maybe I’ll write about it Properly one day, but it’s not the best time while I’m still drowning in my own stupid, stupid brain.

Thanks for reading, and I hope you’re all doing better than I am! While I’m away, why not discover a plague skeleton, eat at a vampire pizzeria, or walk with me along a haunted mountain pass?